Quoth the Raven

Hi Sunny, Hobbes and all of my other dog buddies. Did you check out my personal ad? Switzerland is great so far. There is a lot of new stuff to check out. And the smells... out of this world. You have to see the deer here. You won't believe it but they are smaller than me. I'm not kidding. They are fast and can weave through the undergrowth like you wouldn't believe. Let me tell you about our new house. We have a big window where I can watch the cats in the field below, and my new crush, Rico, who lives next door. Rico is young and energetic and is a bit of rebel. His owner lets him run loose around their yard. It sucks because I can watch from the window but I can't join him. He's cool though 'cause sometimes he doesn't listen to his owner and runs around the neighborhood and chases cats. In Switzerland, cats just run loose all over the place. Everytime I go for walks I see several of them in the neighborhood. They aren't really interested in playing, they always arch their backs and hiss if I get too close.
I've been having some fun adventures here. Two weeks ago my Aunt Laura and Uncle Neil came to visit. I don't know why they didn't bring my cousins Tess and Little Bit to play with, but they were fun anyway. One day we went for a walk up and over the mountain to another town. We had lunch in a park. I got a yummy bone and also scored some cheese, bread and some potato chips (Paprika flavor). There were some other dogs playing there but I couldn't join them. Then my Mom and Dad and Neil and Laura left me tied to a railing while they went swimming in some hot ponds with a bunch of old people. I barked a bunch and even managed to escape. It was brilliant. I won't tell you how I got away but when they came back out an hour later, all they found was the leash in a pile where they had left me. Heh, heh. I ran across the street and had a great time playing in the park. I ran around in the pond and fountains, stole toys from some of the other dogs, and even played chase with a police officer. It was better than COPS. When my Mom and Dad came out they saw me in the park and called to me. I ran over because I was happy to see them. The police man came over too to have a talk with my mom. It was cool. He wasn't mad. I think he was relieved that he didn't have to chase me anymore. He told my mom that people had been calling the police station for the last hour and complaining about a dog terrorizing the park. I was in the park that whole time and I didn't see any dogs terrorizing the place. I wish I had, we could have had some fun. After that, we walked back over the mountain and I got to take a break halfway home, while the people drank some beer.

The next day we went on a train ride to Luzern. And then we took some cable cars to the top of a mountain called Pilatus. These Swiss people are crazy. I don't know why they can't just walk up the mountains. These cable cars just aren't natural (they are scary!) but they do have some cool views, good for scoping out the cats and cows from the air. We walked around some at the top but it was totally not worth it for all the cable car riding we had to do to get there. There was some Swiss guy up there blowing on a big horn too. Some of my bird friends were up there and I was trying to play with them. There were also some people who were flying like birds too. Crazy.

We took one cable car back down and then walked the rest of the way. There was even a guy yodeling from his front porch while we were hiking down (how Swiss is that?). We took a bus back to Luzern and then walked around town for a while. There's a picture of me with some sheep. They weren't as fun as I thought they would be from a distance. All they did was stand there. One thing I don't understand about Switzerland is why people freak out when I get near them. Today there were all kinds of people who moved out of my way and some even screamed when I got near them or if I touched them to say "hi." I think they think I'm a wolf. Ha! Ha! So that's what's up with me...

Raven-ous

Raven-ous. Luscious, athletic 23 m.o. single husky/shepherd seeks adventurous canines for good times. I like long walks just about anywhere, watching cats from the balcony, chasing deer, gutting stuffed animals, tug games, skinny dipping in public places, licking toes, playing rough and play biting. Dislikes: forced baths, leashes, ticks and motorized transportation. Available most days for discrete encounters. If you think you can keep up, call Raven.

Bicycles and Hobbits

It is with some trepidation that I write my next installment. How can I possibly match the mystery and intrigue of spy calculators with my next blog entry? I know... I must include something even more fantastic- something like Hobbits.
I will warn you in advance, before we get to the Hobbits there may be some mathematics involved and there may even be talk of the dreaded metric system. Seems silly, I know, that someone would want to have a standardized measurement system based on multiples of ten.

Today the odometer on my bike crossed the 600km threshold. That is my "kilometer-age" since arriving here in Switzerland. We have been commuting (can I call it commuting if i am not actually working?) daily (Mon-Fri) by bike to our German class. It is about 16km each way and it takes roughly 40 minutes. The route winds up a wide river valley and alternates between bike paths and roads as it also alternates between small towns and farm fields. It is a very peaceful ride and is sufficiently varied to keep things interesting. The terrain is slightly rolling but no real steep or long hills are encountered. I can't say that it is uphill both ways but, let me tell you kids, we pedal into a headwind BOTH ways. Yes, that's right, on the way up the valley in the morning the cool air is moving down from the mountains towards us; on the way home, around noon, the winds have typically shifted to blow up valley towards us again.
We began bike commuting for several reasons 1) we don't have a car 2) the trains are expensive for those of us who are accustomed to spending USD rather than CHF (Swiss Francs) 3) we like the idea of not being dependent on fossil fuels for our transportation 4) It is good exercise and 5) Don't forget what happens if you ride on the trains. Go here for 40+ other reasons why someone might want to bike commute. One of my favorites is "Cycling improves self-esteem." Up until now I thought the repeated mantra of "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn it people like me." was working just fine. In regards to number 2, one interesting thing we discovered is that due to the timing of the train schedules, we can actually leave home at the same time by bike or train and make it to class on time and can also get home just as fast by bike (no waiting for trains).
Now let's talk about #3. Bike commuters like to think that they are reducing the use of fossil fuels by not driving cars, and it is true that bike commuting can be a great alternative with a low environmental impact. However, one thing I started thinking about is the increase in food consumption that occurs with bike commuting. I checked out some calorie computers, like the one here back at the 40+ reasons site (scroll down) and discovered that I burn a whopping 448 calories EACH direction. I think that calculation may be a bit high, some estimates might put it at 350 based solely on mileage. I've lost a bit of weight so I am probably not eating a full 900 calories more per day, but my consumption had increased I am certain of that. Now let's consider that there are significant fossil fuel imputs involved with our highly-industrialized food production system. Any additional food I eat means more fossil fuels used to produce and transport that food. Am I really reducing my fossil fuel consumption? And what about this, what if I took the train? The train runs already whether I am on it or not. Wouldn't that be a better way to reduce my consumption? The only problem there is that I wouldn't get to work on my self-esteem too. Train travel does not strike me as an esteem-boosting activity.
It turns out that, at least according to sites that promote biking, biking is a very efficient means of transportation. I'm still a little skeptical when it comes to the public transportation figures, because it is running anyway and I doubt one extra person adds significantly to the energy consumption.
Judge for yourself. From the website linked to above comes the following "egg-planation"...

How efficient is Bicycling? Here is an egg-planation.

A bicyclist burns about 25 Calories per mile. One large egg supplies 80 Calories. A cyclist can travel about three miles on the energy of one egg.
0 (symbol for one egg)

A person walking would require three eggs to go the same distance.
000

A loaded bus requires the equivalent of two dozen eggs for each person it carries three miles.
000000000000000000000000

A train requires the equivalent of three dozen eggs for each person it carries three miles.
000000000000000000000000000000000000

A car that gets 12.5 miles per gallon requires the equivalent of seven dozen eggs to carry one person three miles.
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Even if you double the miles per gallon and double the occupancy a car will still use the equivalent of twenty-one eggs to make the trip -- more than twenty times a bicycle.
000000000000000000000

At least if I am riding my bike I won't have to eat as many eggs every day.

Thank you for your patience. Now back to the Hobbits. There is a connection here, I assure you. Hobbits are those charming little halflings from the Lord of the Rings series. They are simple agricultural folk who live in hobbit-holes built into the sides of small hills. One of the great things about my bike commute is that I ride through a picturesque pastoral landscape and it just so happens that I also ride right by the hobbit-hole pictured above. I have yet to see any Hobbits there but I am sure they around. As we speak of lowering our environmental impact, it is interesting to note that Hobbit holes are very energy efficient because the earth is such an effective insulator and very little heating or cooling is needed. You too could live like a Hobbit or bike commute once in a while. Or just eat a lot of eggs. It is your choice.

Our Swiss Bank Account

There is a certain mystique about Swiss bank accounts. Switzerland is a politically neutral country that is known for having a stable economy and currency. It also is known for having high standards of security and privacy, which make it a desirable place for people to store their wealth. The world capital of banking is right here in Zurich, probably less than 40km from where I sit. When we arrived in Switzerland, it seemed like a good idea to open an account here, for convenient access to money if nothing else. Of course, it is also fun to say we have a Swiss bank account.
My second day in the county we had a meeting with a representative from UBS. UBS is the largest bank in Switzerland and also has international offices, including ones in the US. We chose UBS mostly because it was easy to get English-language information and we thought it might be easier to transfer money through a bank that has offices in the US. When we met with our lady she asked if we wanted to hang up our coats. We already had them draped across the backs of our chairs, so we declined. She seemed a bit disappointed, the Swiss are really into having coat racks and hanging their coats. We don't go much for proper coat-hanging. I hope she wasn't too offended by our lack of coat-hanging manners. We chose a suitable plan for us, filled out the paperwork and she told us several times that we would get our ATM cards in the mail AND a calculator. Ok, so we get a free calculator for banking. Isn't that a nice Swiss touch, but why does she keep telling us about it, as if it is something really special. We asked her about transferring money from a US bank. She assured us it was no problem, we just had to request a transfer from our bank. And off we went, excited about the prospects of accessing our money through our Swiss bank account. That was a month ago and we still don't have any money in our account. I will come back to that in a minute but first the calculator...
Over the course of the next week or more we receive several letters from UBS: One each acknowledging the opening of our account and our account number, one each for our ATM cards, one each for our initial ATM card PIN, one for our anxiously-awaited calculator, one for our calculator access card, one for our access card PIN, and maybe a few others that I am forgetting about. Shortly after it became clear that we were in possession of a secret-spy-code-breaking calculator that has multiple levels of security to restrict online access to your account. This is how it works. Insert access card into a sleeve on the back of the calculator. Enter your account number and the assigned PIN. Now change your PIN. Now when you log in to access your online account they give you a code. You have to turn on your calculator and enter your PIN. Now enter the code from the website into the calculator. The calculator gives you another code. Now type this one into the website and then you can see your account balance. Cool, huh? Hmmm... that's funny, there's no money in there...
It turns out that getting money into one of the most efficient countries in the world, with the mostly highly regarded banking system in the world, is not as easy as one might think. First, we found out that we could not get money deposited directly into the account because S is on a US funded grant and it must be deposited in a US bank account. Ok, fair enough. UBS indicated that we must initiate a money transfer through our existing bank. When we contacted S's current bank they said they could not transfer the money, but we could write a check if we wanted to. We wrote a check to our account with UBS. They indicated that it could take as long as 2 weeks to clear from the US. Seems a little long in this day and age of instant, electronic communication, but ok. That was over 3 weeks ago. Every day last week I was pulling out my spy calculator and checking our balance, hoping the money would arrive before we had to pay rent. It never did. The money was withdrawn from the original account 4 days after we deposited the check but it has still not made it to our account. Yesterday we went into the bank to see what was going on. The woman at the counter said it was not in our account and could not tell us where it was so we went back to our account-opening person. She made some calls and said we should see it by Friday, but could not answer our primary question, which is "If the money was debited from our account and you don't have it, then where is it?" I know our $6,000 in a currency that is becoming less and less valuable may be small potatoes for them but it is a lot of money for me. We left there baffled by the whole process.
We ran into the one of our language classmates after leaving the bank and he said "oh yeah, UBS is having some serious problems." What? The biggest bank in Switzerland, the world banking headquarters, having problems. Since I don't keep up with the financial news, I googled UBS and found that they have suffered the biggest losses of any bank in the whole sub-prime mortgage fiasco (over 11 billion Swiss Francs, which is roughly equal to about $11 billion) and they just announced today that they will be laying off up to 5,500 workers. Damn those sub-prime mortgages. First they devalue our money here (because S is paid in $US) and now they make it difficult for us to get the money we do have. I am assuming that maybe the delay has been because they have other more important stuff going on. So there you have it, the mystique of the Swiss bank account revealed.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo/ The Price is Right

Wait a minute, that's not German in the title...

I just returned from the grocery store to prepare for tonight's Cinco de Mayo celebration. Cinco de Mayo cracks me up because it is another one of those holidays that give Americans an excuse to drink, much like St. Patrick's Day or Oktoberfest, under the auspices of it being a cultural celebration. I am all for celebrating cultural diversity and for that is is good. It is just funny because it is really a minor holiday in Mexico. When I talk about our "celebration" tonight, I use that word very loosely. It will consist of eating some Mexican food, drinking a beer, and maybe talking a little Spanish with S and Raven. Not surprisingly, my options for Mexican food are a bit limited here in Switzerland; but thanks to the wonders of globalization, I can get Old El Paso products right here at my local grocery store. If only they could get to work on the Little Debbie Swiss Rolls. One thing you should know is that food is a bit pricey here, that is my little hint as we enter the next part of the program. Now I want you to "Come on down!... to the Price is Right!" That's right, now is your opportunity to guess the cost of tonight's dinner.

Take a look. What would you pay for this delightful feast? One package of 8 corn tortillas (I was hoping for flour tortillas but the store was all out. Apparently the Swiss like to find excuses for drinking too. Or maybe they are just really into Latino culture. Take note Neil. Neil is my brother-in-law. He is not latino, but he does a nice little music show called El Ritmo Latino. You can download podcasts of his show from iTunes if you are interested. Now back to our program...), one small jar of salsa, one can of refried beans, one block of Emmentaler Swiss cheese (I know, I know, I have to work with what I have here), and one 125g bag of tortilla chips. What do you think? $10. $12. $18. The total cost was 24.50 swiss francs. The exchange rate is nearly 1:1, with a current cost in USD of $23.24. That is for a bare bones bean and cheese with some chips kind of affair. I'll probably add some veggies and maybe have a beer or two. If I add some rice and maybe a little chocolate for dessert we could be pushing $30. Good thing I have a Swiss bank account. More on that later...